I’ve been trying to write this Path for two weeks. My mind is just drawing a blank and I’m worn out. If you hear my siblings laugh at that statement, let me know. I know their secrets and can be easily bribed to reveal them. No shame in my game.
The last several months have been a whirlwind with the kids, school and gymnastics, just everything. On top of that, my husband is studying for his work too, so our household has been crazy.
Then we got a puppy. Named her Whisper to inspire calm in the house. Well that sounded really cool and sort of hippie-ish, but the truth is I just named her Whisper because I thought it would be ironic to yell for her outside. And yeah, I know you totally just yelled “WHISPER” to yourself and then laughed. You can’t help it.
After three rolls of shredded toilet paper (one of which was the LAST in a house with three girls at midnight, when everyone has to pee first thing in the morning), I have realized I can’t parent four-legged babies very well either. I suppose I am a glutton for punishment, just like a lot of you. But gosh dang it she is so cute!
I can’t even get mad at her very long for doing anything. It’s been a long time since I had a little puppy in the house, so it’s like having a baby all over again without adding the extra 70 lbs. What? That’s not standard for a pregnancy? Nobody told me. That’s exactly what I gained with each baby. I guess I just thought when they were born, they would pop out 55 lbs. each or something and I would get back to fighting weight right after. So, so naïve.
Anyway, I really am awful. I don’t know how I made it getting up every night with a newborn human baby. Three times over I might add! I guess I managed to make it okay because they have all survived, but it’s a blur to me. It truly is.
But Whisper? She’s killin’ me! Maybe it’s because I am old or maybe just out of practice, but I gotta get some sleep! Midnight – bark, bark, bark to go outside, 3:30 am – bark, bark, bark to go outside. And when I get up, she is so excited that we have to play for thirty minutes before she is ready to calm down and go to bed again.
Now you would think with all of this notification she is giving and the excitement of going outside in the middle of the night, typically that would signify her need to potty. Again: So, so naïve. It appears that I suck at potty training puppies but great at giving them immediate gratification for little games they like to play in the wee hours.
Yes, Whisper gets very excited. And yes, Whisper does have to potty at night. But excitement and having to potty are deceiving at my house. Let me explain. Whisper goes crazy, momma gets up. Whisper gives momma lovin’, so momma isn’t mad that she is awakened in the middle of the night two to three times.
We go outside because this baby is just itching to go. Now, at my age, when I get excited about having to go potty, I mean I HAVE TO GO POTTY. RIGHT NOW! I may push people out of the way if necessary. If I did it outside on a regular basis, the excitement would signify that I am NOT playin’. Open the door or there is gonna be an issue. I figured I understood the concept.
Oh no, no, no. Not with Baby Whisper. This precious fuzzball toys with me when I have had little sleep. We go to the door, she is crazy pumped and runs outside. Doesn’t do her “bih’ness” even after twenty minutes. So I give up. We go inside.
Well apparently in all my skills as a paw-parent, I have taught her that we go outside every three hours, we play for 20 minutes and then we come IN THE HOUSE to potty. Yeah…not writing a tutorial on this process anytime soon.
It’s like her little brain says, “Okay, well since I have GOT to pee, we can play outside but then I am gonna need something a little better than just grass and dirt to pee on. Oh, I see you have tile.
That will work nicely. Wood floors are fine too, but I prefer carpet. I noticed some in the living room. That will work beautifully, but can you move those pad things, they are really just in the way?”
Yeah, this is my life right now.
Worn slap out, I tell ya! The worst part is that as soon as we are back in the house, I lay down to sleep, and I’ll be danged if I don’t have to pee!
I do try to stay off the carpet.
Lord this dog is going to be the death of me. It’s a good thing she is cute. Nobody else in the house even wakes up when all of this is going on, so not one of them gives me any sympathy in the mornings.
I have determined that if I ever get her trained, my baby days are over! And I guess I could choose to continue to rant and rave about it, but instead, I guess, it’s better just to choose a Whisper.